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"Blown up a toilet?
We've never blown up
a toilet." "Great idea
though, thanks,
Mum."
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Timeline

AD 962 - earliest records of witches and wizards using brooms in Europe
991 or earlier - Hogwarts school founded
11th Century - earliest records of Quiddich
12th Century - second earliest record of Quiddich
1269 - Golden Snidgets start being used in Quiddich matches
14th Century - Snidgets become protected species
1398 - first full description of Quiddich set down
1419 - Wizard's Council isses a decree stating that Quiddich cannot be played anywhere where there is the slightest chance Muggles would see
1448 - Burdock Muldoon made Chief of Wizard's council until 1450
1473 - First ever Quiddich World Cup
1674 - Quiddich league established
1692 - Famous summit meeting discussing the concealment of magical beasts; International Stature of Wizarding Secrecy makes all Ministries responsible for the consequences of magical sports in their territories
1750 - Clause 73, concerning the concealment of magical beasts, entered into the International Stature of Wizarding Secrecy
1762 - the game of Creaothceann is made illegal
1782 - first record of the existance of Lethifolds after an attack by one on wizard Falvius Belby
1811 - acceptable definitions of 'beast' and 'being' reached; Grogan Stump made Minister of Magic
1820 - Elliot Smethwyck invents Cushioning Charm, making flying more comfortable
1845 - Albus Dumbledore born
1873 - Gripping charms discovered
1884 - longest ever game of Quiddich, which lasted six months (the Snitch was never caught and both teams agreed to end the game)
1892 - the last time the Chudley Canons won the league
1994 (approx) - Triwizard Tournament stopped after too many deaths
1897 - Newton (Newt) Artemis Fido Scammander born
1921 - fastest ever capture of the Snitch (three and a half seconds) by Roderick Plumpton
1925 - Tom Marvolo Riddle born
1926 - the Cleansweep Broom Company was founded by Bob, Bill and Barnaby Ollerton
1927 - Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them first published
1929 - Rubeus Hagrid born and the Comet Trading Company was founded by Randolph Keitch and Basil Hornton
1931 - Joscelind Wadclock sets record for highest number of goals during British season this century in Quiddich
1932 - Ilfracombe incident
1937 - Tom Riddle starts Hogwarts; Dumbledore Transfiguration teacher, Armando Dippet Headmaster
1940 - Rubeus Hagrid starts Hogwarts and Mr Hagrid dies
1942 - the Chamber of Secrets is opened for the first time
1943 - Moaning Myrtle dies, Hagrid expelled for opening the Chamber but kept on as gamekeeper
1945 - Tom leaves Hogwarts and disappears; Grindelwald defeated by Dumbldore
1947 - Werewolf Register created
1957 - James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily and Severus all born
1965 - Ban On Experimental Breeding
1967 - Nimbus Racing Broom company founded by Devlin Whitehorn
1968 - James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily and Severus start Hogwarts, Dumbledore becomes Headmaster, Shrieking Shack built, Whomping Willow planted
1970 - Tom Riddle returns as Voldemort and begins his rise through power and James, Sirius and Peter find out Remus is a werewolf
1973 - Peter, James and Sirius become Animagi
1974-75 - Lily and James start dating
1975 - James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily and Severus leave Hogwarts
1977 - Weasley twins are born
Between 1975 and 80 - Lily and James are married
1979 - Newt Scammander receives Order of Merlin, Second Class
1980 - the prophercy is made; Harry, Ron and Hermione are born; Peter joins the Death Eaters
1981 - Voldemort disappears after trying and failing to kill Harry; Lily and James are killed; Peter supposedly killed; a street is blown up by Peter but Sirius is blamed; Sirius sent to Azkaban; Harry moves into Privet Drive
Between 1981 and 1990 - Frank and Alice Longbottom are tortured into insanity; the Lestranges and Barty Crouch Jr are sent to Azkaban; Barty Crouch Jr supposedly dies
1986 - Percy starts at Hogwarts
1988 - the twins start at Hogwarts
1990 - Cornelias Fudge made Minister for Magic
1991 - Harry finds out about his being a wizard, starts Hogwarts and meets Ron and Hermione
1992 - Harry saves the Philospher's Stone; Ginny starts Hogwarts; Gilderoy Lockhart made Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; the Chamber of Secrets is re-opened; Harry discovered to be a Parseltongue
1993 - Tom/Voldemort discovered to be the Heir of Slytherin; Monster of Slytherin killed; Sirius escapes from Azkaban; Dementors put on guard at Hogwarts; Remus made Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; Sirius breaks into Hogwarts
1994 - Harry, Ron and Hermione discover the truth about Sirius; Peter returns to Voldemort; Bertha Jorkins and Frank Bryce killed by Voldemort; Harry attends the Quiddich World Cup; Dark Mark seen again after thirteen years; Triwizard Tournament re-established; Mad-Eye Moody assigned Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; Harry entered for Tournament
1995 - Weasley twins come of age; Tournament ends; Voldemort returns; Cedric Diggory killed; Order of the Phoenix is recalled; Dumbledore sacked from the Wizengamot and International Confed. of Wizards; Dolores Umbridge made Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; Harry meets Luna Lovegood; Mr Weasley attacked
1996 - Harry starts dates Cho Chang; Dumbledore leaves Hogwarts temporarily; Death Eaters in Azkaban escape, including the Lestranges; Weasley twins leave Hogwarts and get premises for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes; Sirius Black killed by Bellatrix Lestrange; Harry finds out about the prophecy; Harry inherits 12 Grimmauld Place and Kreacher; Draco Malfoy is told by Voldemort to kill Dumbledore; Snape makes the Unbreakable Vow to help him; Snape becomes Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; Horace Slughorn made Potions teacher; Ron and Lavender get together; Harry starts lessons with Dumbledore
1997: Ron comes of age and is nearly killed by poison; Harry learns of the Horcruxes; Ron and Lavender split up; Harry and Ginny get together; Harry plays Quiddich for the last time; Harry and Dumbledore go after one of the Horcruxes; Dumbledore is killed by Snape; Harry leaves Hogwarts as a student for good